faulty vision
From the monthly archives: March 2009
I am cranky.
To be specific, I’m watching American Idol at the moment, an experience that is topping off my beaker of hatred towards the entire human race. There’s some sort of revolting duet taking place between out-of-tune warbling lizard guy and nasally undulating floppy chick in blue. The longer it goes on, the more [...]
Gratuitous photo post, but really — and I say this as the most unbiased of mothers, obviously — if you had pictures of this adorable baby, wouldn’t you post them too?
Hobbes had his 6 month visit to the pediatrician today, an event that he didn’t particularly care for. True, he was allowed to spend a good percentage of that visit completely naked–for those of you who are curious, there were no unfortunate liquid “accidents,” in a stark (hah) departure from previous medical engagements–but on the [...]
I was sick today.
Again.
It occurs to me, thinking back to the fog-shrouded distance of my youth, that my mother was never ill. She was sick maybe once with the flu, as I recall–a momentous occasion in our household, tantamount to gravity taking a holiday until further notice–and then there was that whole thing [...]
I have the attention span of a gnat.
“Well, wait,” you’re thinking. “Gnats are persistent. They hang around. They pop into your line of sight just long enough for you to realize they’re there, and then they spend the rest of their lives dive-bombing your left eyeball and working up the nerve to ask you [...]
Warning: grossness ahead.
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Hobbes was sick for most of the weekend, a fact that didn’t seem to impair his enjoyment of life particularly. At 3 AM Sunday morning, he threw up the entire contents of his [...]
“Well, look at that,” an engineer drawled, walking into my meeting.
My other colleague laughed and ran a hand over his head. I looked at him, puzzled.
“Oh,” I realized belatedly. “You’ve got hair.” Normally A.’s head is shaved down to the scalp. It’s a popular hairstyle at my company. The last few days I’d [...]
I’ve gone through our bookshelves multiple times in the last two years, and have been ruthless about culling — the libraries in our area have done well by us — but the end result has been a collection that is, admittedly, still larger than it ought to be. The books that are left are keepers, [...]
I recently subscribed to the New Scientist RSS feed to give my morning routine an extra bit of perk. It’s been a while since I subscribed to the actual magazine, and not that long ago that I stopped renewing. At the time, I was getting more material than I had time to read, which [...]
CSI: NY was on the TV. The Guy was watching it. I had better things to do.
“Interesting,” I said, from the middle of a New Scientist article about the first use of anaesthesiology. “According to this, the first use of anesthetic was by a Japanese person to remove a–”
“I can believe [...]
We got a high chair from our friends Tim and Amanda, whose two daughters have grown up enough not to need a high chair.
My inquisitive spawn, it transpires, is too small to fit into it. Not for want of trying, though.
“I don’t think he fits,” the Guy said meditatively.
“You think?”
“Awww,” I [...]
Food poisoning is the excuse du jour — for the week at least, if not for the fact that I haven’t actually updated in–
Right. So I had food poisoning.
I recovered pretty quickly, all things considered. I’m still unclear on what caused the gastrointestinal excitement, but just to be sure I’ve knocked everything I [...]
“I LAY EGGS OF gold,” said the chicken in a strangled voice.
The cook, who was preparing to dispense the final punctuation mark to the chicken’s life, paused. “Say what, then?”
“Gold,” said the chicken, and rolled the eye that was not squashed against the flat chopping block. “My eggs.”
“Bollocks,” said the cook, but [...]
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