resolutions

Irony of ironies, the original post I put up here was somehow deleted. Not only was it deleted, it was wiped out of existence, not only on my web site but also on my own computers. In the cosmic scheme of things, this is as though I never made the New Years Resolutions that I'd originally posted. Theoretically, this could mean that I have an entire year to goof off with as I will. If I wanted to, I could change my New Years Resolutions if the ones I originally made are too hard for me to handle now.

On the other hand, this would require effort.

I don't remember exactly what it was that I originally wrote up in this space, but be assured it was fascinating, inspiring, and a full to bursting with witty humor. As I can't seem to replicate any of that at the moment, having come straight from eight hours of work where I alternated between reading heinous technical documentation and writing heinous technical documentation, you'll just have to take it as given that you all really, really missed out.

Yuhri's New Year's Resolutions - 2003

1. Lose 12 pounds.

I cheat, of course. The day I originally went to a doctor's office to get checked up on for a possible infection -- the day the doctor first suspected I had diabetes -- I weighed in at 150 pounds.

"I weigh what?" I said blankly, when the nurse read out the scale number.

"Hm?" She was used to hearing that, obviously.

"There must be some mistake."

"Hm." Was definitely used to hearing that.

At the time, I was wearing a heavy sweatshirt, a t-shirt, heavy sweat-pants, hiking boots, wool socks, and carrying my keys, my cell phone, my four pound wallet, two books, and a notepad.

Every woman right now is shaking her head, clucking her tongue against the roof of her mouth. There's an widely understood rule among women that one isn't properly weighed unless it's less than an hour after one has woken up. Before one's shower. Naked. Obviously, it was impossible to impose these conditions on my weighing, considering it was done in the middle of the afternoon in a public corridor in a co-ed clinic.

But 150? Please.

Two weeks later, I came back in for my gyno appointment. This time, anticipating, I wore exercise shorts made of some kind of lighter-than-air nylon stuff, a linen blouse that a sneeze could have disintegrated, and sandals. I weighed 142.

"HAH!" I yelled at the nurse in triumph. She started nervously and dropped her pencil.

I consider that I have already lost 8 pounds. 4 pounds to go.

2. Join a gym.

I've changed my mind about this one. This particular resolution, I think, is pathetic and not particularly useful. I mean, join a gym, sure, and then what? Did I put in anything about exercise? No. Will I? At the gym? No. Will I be in hock to the gym for the rest of my life? Yes.

Waste of time. Taking it out. Moving on...

3. Write the outlines for a book.

I've had the idea for a story bouncing around in my head for a while, and yet I've never gotten to the point where I'd write it down. Part of me is worried that once I do write the outlines of it down, my imagination will lock into it, pick up certain phrases I choose arbitrarily and refuse to groom it any further.

It's not really full enough to be a book; it's more a sketch, or a short story. We'll see. If it does turn out to be a short story, then I'll write it up and try to put it online. And then all of you can laugh.

4. Write 8 journal entries a month.

This is doable, isn't it? And it's all for you. My love for you. All me. All you. You you you you.

5. Read 7 technical manuals this year.

Boring. The Guy thinks I should do this. Guys are weird.

Now he's shoving me. Pooh.

"Tell them why," he ordered. Shove. Shove. Shove. "Come on. Tell them why I'm shoving you." Shove.

He shoves like a girl. Nerts to you, boyo.

Actually, it's a good, practical resolution for someone who intends to keep working in the technical field. I should keep up to date, and in touch with the skills that I already have. Technical manuals may be dull, but they'll do something to keep me in gear, and I'll learn a lot in the bargain.

I wonder if the user manual for my television counts?

6. Learn 50 kanji characters.

I've had some variation of this goal almost every year since I was old enough to realize I was illiterate. Out here, out in the real world, this irritates the heck out of me. In prior years I've been overly ambitious, and determined to learn several hundred characters. In this new, improved, realistic me, I've realized that this has about as much chance of happening as the Democrats winning the 2004 election.

To keep myself focused on achieving something attainable, I've cut my learning requirement considerably. Out of the 50 characters I've decided to learn, 15 of them are already learned. Now, all I have to do is remember them until next January 1st.

7. Save $3,000 in savings account.

Yes, just $3,000. And no, I'm not talking about another $3,000 on top of what's already there. I'm talking about $3,000, period. I'm poor. Ludicrously poor.

8. Pay off Citibank credit card.

...and this is why.

9. Finish first Latin workbook.

I've finished the first chapter. Now it's on to chapter 2. "Scintilla in casa laborat; cenam parat. Horatia casam intrat; Scintillam salutat. Horatia Scintillam iuvat; aquam in casam portat. Argus casam intrat et Horatium salutat."

Eat your heart out, Detroit. Rap may be your game now, but the Romans had it first.

10. Learn to control blood sugar.

Duh. This is one of those items on the list that is completely superfluous. It's like starting out the day with "Things I will do today" and then writing down: "4. Breathe in and out."

On the other hand, it has to be done. And it serves as a reminder to me; if I never want to have to put 'Breathe in and out' down as a New Year's Resolution sometime in my future, best to get this one done right.

Posted by yhirata at January 2, 2003 05:45 PM