converse & the guy

"Tortoises are funny," sez I.

"Yeah, in your mouth," sez he.

"That's vaguely sexual," sez he.

"You're giving tortoises HEAD," sez he.

He cracks himself up.

So, The Guy came back from England today and I went to pick him up and now I'm at work -- no, don't be worried, Patti, I really am working; I just can't do anything right now because I'm waiting for the network to unfreeze in another window -- eating Starburst and thinking about how nice it is that The Guy is back.

Bob, ("Roberta." "Bob." "Roberta." "Right, so Bob, he--" "She." "HE--") was very excited that The Guy was coming back, and insisted that he get a nice shower, as he was covered in little white bird poo-poos and dust, so I took him back to the place that did such a nice job before and then Bob and I went to the airport and picked him up. "I've never seen her so shiny," The Guy marvelled.

"They did a good job on him," I agreed.

On the way back, we had the following discussion.

"Why does he have to be a girl?" asked I.

"Because she just is," said he. "She's so a girl."

"What, you can't drive a car that's a guy?"

"No."

"Why not? Can't guys have nice relationships with other guys?"

"No. A partnership, maybe," he added as an afterthought.

"What, and you don't have a partnership with your car?"

"No." Which sort of begged the question, see.

"So you have a female car because you don't have a partnership with females?"

I watched him grin out of the corner of my eye. "A sexual one, maybe."

"You have a sexual relationship with your car," I said, flatly.

"Mm hm." He leered. "You know. We like to drive a car HARD."

I considered a moment, then screamed. This is my ultimate response to all instances of idiocy.

"I'm going to tell everybody that you said that," I threatened.

And so I have. The Guy's a lech. Now, moving on....

The general theme of the day seems to be that I should be out of a job soon, sort of a case of going down with a sinking ship. Thanks to all of those who've asked, by the way; I still love this company, sadly. Kind of a pain, all things considered. I figure the company will never love me back, and I'm okay with that. Whether or not I'll get laid off is something else altogether; my -- okay, our -- more immediate worries are whether or not the company will even be here in four months. We'll see. It doesn't look good. From being pretty much nonexistent in the media, we're suddenly front-page news, and rumblings about bankruptcy and lawsuits against previous (or present) executives, not to mention Ma Bell, have been flying around. Eh. Business is business. It'd be ironic if we all had to go back to 56k modems, wouldn't it?

My mind is wandering. I went and saw The Others with Tara on Saturday. Not a bad movie at all; I'd sort of figured it out halfway through, but there was still enough suspense happening and enough doubt regarding the other stuff that was going on so that it wasn't a wasted last half. It's not Sixth Sense, but it's a reasonable step-sibling.

Ho hum. I don't like Starburst. I feel like my teeth have been covered in sugared tar. Back to work for me....