i left my cat in New York City

Flamingo went on a vacation to New York City a few days ago, and -- not surprisingly -- Heisenberg was inspired to go as well. He has always had a Thing about New York City; he has informed me on numerous occasions that it is his spiritual home. This might or might not be true: certainly there are qualities to him that reek of urban blight, though I'm not entirely positive New York suffers from that particular affliction.

Fleas, perhaps. I can imagine New York suffering from fleas.

At any rate, he is under the impression that he will only have to show up at New York's door (for some reason he thinks New York City has a door) for them to throw it open and gather him to their bosom. Bosoms. Who knows? He might even be right.

At any rate, off he went. He decided to walk.

"Exercise is what keeps me thin and svelte," he informed me, with a pointed stare at my waistline. "A few hours' walk won't be a problem."

I opened my mouth to inform him that a walk from California to New York would take more than a few hours, then closed it again. I decided I would tell him later.

"I'm looking forward to it," he yawned. "Meeting people of sophistication, wit, intelligence, taste...it'll make a nice change."

For some reason, I forgot to get around to it before he left.

He left on Thursday. I haven't heard from him since. It's been quite peaceful in the apartment lately.

The goat, Schroedinger, came tripping into the bedroom yesterday to inform me that she had had an epiphany. "Penises are like geoduck," she announced. "Or like those whack-a-mole games."

There was a moment's silence. "Whack-a-mole games?" the Guy asked, unwilling, but in the grip of appalled curiosity.

"Whack-a-mole," said the goat, and lifted a foreleg to grope at our covers. "See, the penis is the mallet, and the testicles are the moles, so you take the penis and you--"

"There are things happening in your imagination that really concern me," the Guy told me privately, later.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said.

Whack-a-mole.

(Heh.)