a little insurance

The subject of life insurance arose during book club the other night, with the general consensus being that men were, on the whole, peculiarly sensitive about the issue. I, for instance, have yet to convince the Guy that it would be a good idea to buy into his company's life insurance plan.

"You should get life insurance," I say.

"No," he says. "You'll kill me."

And there the matter rests until I bring up the subject again, and no amount of coaxing or persuading will sway him. He has envisioned a future with life insurance, and it is a picture that Does Not Contain Him. He has no doubt that this is because I'm lurking somewhere off-camera with a newly cleaned knife and suspicious bleach stains on my sleeves.

"You could make it out to your mother," I remind him. "That way you could take the burden of taking care of her off your brother--"

"No," he says. "You'll kill me." He is a stubborn man.

"What possible motive would I have for killing you? I wouldn't even make any money off it."

He eyes me, the mad little glitter of paranoia dancing in his slitted Asian glare. "You'll figure out a reason," he says, darkly. "You and your evil Japanese machinations."

We have a small trust issue in our relationship that we still need to work out. One would think that believing one's wife will kill one if given an excuse would make for a somewhat hostile relationship between husband and wife. The Guy, however, takes it in stride. He assures me that, with the exception of this one tiny character flaw, I am an excellent spouse.

In all other respects -- again, excepting this utter lack of basic trust, and his unwillingness to be in the same room with me when I'm holding a knife -- our marriage seems to be quite stable.

It does rather make me wonder why the divorce rate in the US is so high, though. If we can survive my alleged homicidal tendencies, and my husband's Run Away Screaming Like A Panic-Stricken Chipmunk When Yuhri Brings up Writing Wills tendencies, what kind of lame excuse is 'Irreconcilable differences'?