January 27, 2006

Weird


Date: Wed, 25 Jan 2006 19:10:15 -0800 (PST)
From: "Sako"
Subject: ikea beds are better
To: "Yud"

so i was sitting on the bus on my way home from school
today, minding my own business, not making eye
contact, etc... when a woman sits down next to me and
makes the thought provoking statement of, "you're
asian".
i was so touched by her ability to point out the
blindingly obvious that i asked if she wanted to take
a stab at guessing my gender.
she said no. but unfortunately she didn't quit
speaking. much to my dismay she started to rant about
the quick and quality meal cup-o-noodle makes. after
about three seconds, my face glazed over and my brain
began to liquify. somewhere between the previous stop
and hell, she poked me and asked if i liked spring
rolls...because they're from asia too. i told her
that as a jap it was my duty to look down upon all
other asians cultures. and as spring rolls are a
vietnamese dish, i would rather chew on sharpened
glass.
fortunately my stop came right then.

so yud, my question is this:

as asians, we are free from the genetic discomforts
of being a white person. why are they all so wierd?

***


Date: Friday, 27 January 2006
From: "Yud"
Subject: Re: Re: ikea beds are better
To: "Sako"

It's because of those freakishly big eyes. They take up a lot of room in their heads.

Leaves less room for brains.

***

Of course, nobody in my family is really qualified to accuse someone else of being weird.

Also, my name is not Yud.

Posted by yhirata at January 27, 2006 9:53 AM
Comments

Dear lord, I'm always amazed when I run into people like this woman. Loved this entry. :-D

Posted by: Debbie at January 27, 2006 3:12 PM

"You're Asian."
"No, I'm Skittish."
"You're Asian."
"Shh! I was undercover."
"You're Asian."
"What?! Why did no one ever tell me before?! Oh, God, my parents were lying when they said it was because I stared at that eclipse when I was a baby..."
"You're Asian."
"Yes, and it's contagious." (At this point, you lunge at the person, extend your hands with fingers curled into claws, and hiss like an angry cat. "See? I breathed on you, and you squinted."

*sigh* I never have any fun. Nobody says anything to me in public except "You're fat." And there's no response to that except "Yes, cheesecake will do that to you."

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