Things that make you go, "Huh?"

My mother is attending a convention in Italy, and received an email from the convention organizers regarding tours that would be conducted for interested attendees. She told me about this on the phone. "It says there is a deadline," she said. "Reci-- recipie-- retardi--"

"Reservations?"

"Oh, yes. 'Information about tourist activities are attached.'"

"Did you open the attachment?"

"I can't open attachments on this computer."

"Oh. Okay." My mother owns a Mac. She thinks moles cause earthquakes, and she owns a Mac. There's no point arguing with her about attachments. "Why don't you send it to me, and I'll open it on mine."

"How do I send it to you?"

"You open up the email--"

"Yes."

"--and you hit forward--"

"Yes."

"--and type in my email address, and hit send."

"Yes. How do I hit forward?"

"Um."

"Okay. Maybe I should fax it to you."

"Sure. You can-- wait. What?"

"I will fax it to you tomorrow at work."

"What?"

"Do you mind? And then you can read it back to me on the telephone."

"Mom, you can't open the attachment."

"Yes."

"In order to fax it to me, you'd have to open up the attachment, print it out, put it IN THE FAX MACHINE, THEN FAX IT TO ME."

"You can't get faxes? Oh, that's right. You said your fax machine at work was broken."

"Yes, mother. That's exactly the problem. My fax machine is broken."

"Could you fax it to me?"

I aged a year on that one phone call. An entire year. Children may keep you young, but the things parents do in exchange ought to be illegal.