faulty vision

October 4, 2006

Guns

Texas continues to be strange.

There's a sign that I've seen inside restaurants here that alarms me. In and of itself it's not a particularly spooky sign; it is the standard rectangle of white plastic with black trim that you get with officialdom. You know, like, "Restaurant workers must wash hands," or "Vehicles parked illegally will be towed."

The one in Texas that bothers me says something along the lines of, "Carrying an unlicensed firearm in this restaurant is illegal. You will be fined if caught."

Yeah.

Like, okay. In California? This is not so much of a problem. I mean to say, yes, okay, it's possible -- and quite probable, in fact -- that there are people wandering in and out of restaurants with unlicensed weapons shoved down their pants. Not all the guys I see coming out of the bathroom are just happy to see me. But a sign? To tell people that it's bad? Not so much.

Californians know that it's bad. They just don't care. I honestly can't figure out the purpose of the sign. Is it to tell Texans that it's bad? And the kind of guy who carries around an unlicensed weapon into a restaurant. If he's Texan, will he care that it's bad? Will he subsequently say, "Oh, darn. I'll just leave it in the car, then?"

Inquiring minds want to know.

***

Maybe it's just that I'm eating in the wrong sorts of places.

Is Outback Steakhouse a high crime eatery?

***

For some unfathomable reason, I would really like to buy a 10-gallon hat.

I bet I'd look hot.

Like a bowling ball with a John Wayne complex.

(A yellow bowling ball.)

(Yellow because I'm Asian, see.)

(Just so we're clear.)

(It sounded funnier in my head.)

***

Later edited to add:

An Authentic Texan: Was this Dallas-ish?

Me: Yup.

An Authentic Texan: Makes sense. See, if you head about 20 minutes West towards Ft. Worth, you don't get those signs usually.

There are three words in the explanation that worry me. See if you can pick out which three they are.

Posted by yhirata at October 4, 2006 7:30 PM | TrackBack

Comments

According to Jules Verne, only the Chinese are yellow.

Posted by: X at October 4, 2006 8:43 PM

I think you have gone a little bit insane, dear.

Posted by: Not cool enough to only have one letter to my name. at October 4, 2006 9:27 PM

I admit it. I'm more of a pinky green color.

Posted by: Yuhri at October 5, 2006 6:29 AM

Were they 'an Authentic Texan'?

Posted by: Beth at October 5, 2006 7:59 AM

"Makes sense" and "usually."

Posted by: Yuhri at October 5, 2006 10:45 AM

oh m'darlin
oh m'darlin
oh m'darlin oriental

when you get to
central Texas
you'll be sorta
sentimental

Posted by: Sarah at October 6, 2006 8:26 PM

Yup, I picked out the three words.

You should see the pictorial signs in my friend's neighborhood (in California, I might add) that wordlessly admonish people not to defecate in the street.

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