early christmas

We gave my Mom a 32 inch flat screen TV for Christmas. UPS dropped it off tonight when we were driving back from Taka Sushi. We drove back in two separate cars, and Sako and Mom got home first. "The truck passed us on the way home," Sako hissed at us over the phone. "There's a big box sitting at the front door."

"Is it the TV?"

"I don't know. Where are you?"

"We're stuck in traffic. Try to keep it hidden until we get home."

"Ack," said Sako, and hung up. It took us another ten minutes to get home, during which time my sister ran a desperate distraction and defense strategy to keep Mom oblivious. She managed to sneak the box into the living room while Mom drove the car into the garage. Then she lugged the box into the dining room while Mom was occupied in the kitchen. When we got back, she was looking fagged, and Mom was still oblivious. Then it was my turn to distract Mom while the Guy and Sako frantically put the television together and set it up to replace the old, broken one.

As a surprise gift, it worked great. Mom flipped out. She was quite excited. Unfortunately, the TV also comes with a massive new remote, which she is just as excited to learn all about. Sako and I, remembering past experiences involving Mom and new technology, chickened out. "He'll teach you," we both said in turn, and pointed at my husband.

This is what he's married into.

"These goldfish," my Mom said, passing the aquarium on the way upstairs. "They are so big!"

"I heard somewhere that they can get up to a foot big," my husband said.

"And they live a long time," said Sako.

They went back to staring at the television. Mom leaned over to me. "Sst," she hissed to get my attention, and then whispered, "When they get that big, let's eat them."