http://www.faultyvision.net "Laughter is the shortest distance between two people." -Victor Borge Sun, 07 Mar 2010 05:56:16 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en http://www.faultyvision.net/2010/03/06/things-that-make-you-go-what/ The Guy has been watching Once Upon a Time in the West for the last 20 minutes now, and so far, the only thing that has happened is that the credits have stopped rolling. And some guy got off a train. The interval before that was more or less filled by close-up ... http://www.faultyvision.net/2010/02/02/why-sergio-leone-is-just-not-my-thing/ Thing-a-day started yesterday, only I was too ill to remember to register for the event. This doesn't mean I can't participate, mind, but it does somewhat limit the number of postings I would otherwise do for it. No worries. With that in mind, I started the first steps towards a baby ... http://www.faultyvision.net/2010/02/02/thing-a-day/ "Wow. You look really ... Asian." Thank you. That was the look I was going for, after the last haircut made me look too ... white? http://www.faultyvision.net/2010/01/30/things-not-to-say-to-your-wife-after-you-see-her-new-haircut-for-the-first-time/ I've mentioned this before, but I have had the misfortune to give birth to a morning person, which just seems like added insult to injury when the man I married turned out to be a morning person as well, something that he didn't reveal until after the knot was tied. ... http://www.faultyvision.net/2010/01/16/morning-people-and-other-odds-and-ends/ Our day care, as I've mentioned before, is one of the great joys of my life, landing on the scale right above medical insurance and right below air. It is, in other words, cataloged as a 'necessity' as far as I'm concerned. To imagine a world where I don't have ... http://www.faultyvision.net/2010/01/09/cruel-and-inhuman/ ...I don't know why I even bother. THIS YEAR, HOWEVER, I WILL AIM LOW. I will consider it a successful year if I accomplish one of the following: Rip out my kitchen and have it completely redone again. With sinks that my pots will actually fit in, and countertops not made out ... http://www.faultyvision.net/2010/01/03/new-years-resolutions/ My mother came down to California for the Christmas holiday, on a short, 4 day stay that was probably less restful for her than she deserved. I admit to being astonished that we were able to convince her to take that much time off from her various activities: between cults ... http://www.faultyvision.net/2009/12/29/we-were-here-most-holy-and-we-shed/ About four days ago, right around the time that the long holiday started, the Guy started to complain that his mouth hurt. "This tooth," he said. "This tooth," as though I should have known exactly what he was talking about. Of course I did, being both an attentive wife and a ... http://www.faultyvision.net/2009/12/28/escalation/ Look, Mr. Carpet Cleaner guy. I know it's a craptastic carpet. I know it really needs to be burned or sent off to be recycled into something more pleasing to the eye, say, as compost or something. But this is what we're going to be stuck with for a while ... http://www.faultyvision.net/2009/12/15/excuses/ It's no use pointing out that I haven't updated my blog in almost a week. I've gone for years without posting. Years. I scoff at your arbitrary 7-day segmentation. Pfft. Anyway, I've been sick. With the croup. So there. *** So a few days ago, my sister, who has the bedside manner of your typical ... http://www.faultyvision.net/2009/12/09/hematoma/ [caption id="attachment_1106" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="sun child"][/caption] In other news, the camera on the Droid is actually a lot better than I really expected. It is still not the best I've ever seen, but it's pretty decent, all things considered. The Guy is infatuated with his, and uses it obsessively. Well, maybe ... http://www.faultyvision.net/2009/12/04/sun-child/ For over a year now, we've tried to interest our son in toys and pacifiers, under the (apparently misguided) assumption that if he bonds to some object, it will make him easier to deal with during times of trouble. As it turns out, the only way my son could be ... http://www.faultyvision.net/2009/12/04/comfort/ It turns out (according to the nurse on the phone) that Hobbes has croup, which is somehow far less frightening than the flu. Not to say that people can't and don't die from the croup, but it certainly isn't portrayed anywhere near as terrifying on the internet. The Internet is ... http://www.faultyvision.net/2009/12/02/croup/ I did NaNoWriMo again. That, in a nutshell, explains my November. It was a remarkably disciplined month for me, and I settled into a routine that actually worked. By day I went to work and took care of Kazu. Once he went down for the night, I would (1) clean ... http://www.faultyvision.net/2009/11/30/november-in-situ/ [caption id="attachment_1090" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Poppi ring - garnet roe"][/caption] "What is that?" the Guy demanded when I came home last night. "It's a new ring. I bought it. And," I added defiantly, "I love it. LOVE it, do you hear?" Hobbes was instantly fascinated, and wrapped his little hand around the ring. "HI," ... http://www.faultyvision.net/2009/10/27/ringaling/ As I mentioned before, the Guy lost major husband points this past August by forgetting my birthday. We do not commonly celebrate birthdays in our household, but this is a matter of choice rather than omission; we do not celebrate birthdays because we have the comfortable awareness that we could ... http://www.faultyvision.net/2009/10/26/revenge-is-a-dish-best-served-in-latex/ The Guy commented that I haven't journaled about Hobbes as much as he had thought that I would. "I think you're trying to keep from being boring," he said, leaving unspoken the thought that I shouldn't even bother trying because it was too late. It was true, thinking back, that I ... http://www.faultyvision.net/2009/10/25/heads/ We spent the tail end of September up in Seattle, in a quid pro quo nod to Mom's visit last year. Last September, she came to California to celebrate Hobbes's birth; this time we're up north to celebrate Mom's 70th birthday. In point of fact, we came up to throw ... http://www.faultyvision.net/2009/10/15/seattle-2/ The first alarms proved to be groundless. Hobbes is by no means as mobile as we had thought he was, though he makes up for distance and speed in sheer determination, such that a trip across the living room floor has a bruising effect on his diaper-padded rear end. Where ... http://www.faultyvision.net/2009/10/12/firsts/ "So he's walking now?" said one of the ladies at the day care. "He's working on it," I said. "Hm," she said, and gave me a pitying glance as I bore a chuckling Hobbes away. Two steps. That's all he had ever done before. Two shuffling steps, after which he would fall over ... http://www.faultyvision.net/2009/10/09/and-we-have-lift-off/ "So is he saying anything yet?" asked the doctor. "Um," I said. "Uh oh," Hobbes said. "Well, that's sort of a word!" the doctor congratulated. "And he says, 'cheeto,'" I said. "What?" "Uh oh," Hobbes said again. "And," I hurried on, seeing the doctor's face, "it's not fair because it's not like he's actually ever seen ... http://www.faultyvision.net/2009/10/04/first-word-retake/ [caption id="attachment_1052" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Opening his very first laptop"][/caption] How time flies. In one year, Hobbes has learned to: suck roll over sit up pick things up put things in his mouth smile laugh clap stand up say a word walk (while clutching something) climb stairs blow a kiss remember where he put something hide things under the sofa self-feed hold his breath under water Skype the Guy's coworkers at ... http://www.faultyvision.net/2009/09/22/1-year-old/ Hobbes spent a good two hours today repeating his very first word. Want to know what it is? "Uh oh." One might think that this doesn't technically qualify as a word, since it consists of two interjections slapped together in a colloquial misalliance, like "oh yeah," and "Bai Ling." However, the resident ... http://www.faultyvision.net/2009/09/13/first-word/ Things Hobbes is not scared of: heights gravity concussions spiders loud jets flying very low overhead angry dogs strangers motorcycles blood car accidents explosions sudden loud bangs pain Things that terrify Hobbes: sand There are times when I just have to wonder about boys and the evolution of the species. Survival of the fittest? Really? http://www.faultyvision.net/2009/09/10/logic-imbalance/ (1:22:55 PM) Me: I made myself an awesome wrap out of hummus, tabbouleh, tomato, irish cheddar, and lavash bread. (1:23:09 PM) The Guy: that's because you are awesome (1:23:29 PM) Me: Are you still ass-kissing me because you forgot my birthday? (1:23:41 PM) The Guy: no (1:23:43 PM) Me: You could just send me ... http://www.faultyvision.net/2009/08/26/ways-you-cant-win/ At one point during lunch today I glanced over at Hobbes to find him dangling over the edge of his high chair, his head hanging, his wee arms waving aimlessly. His toy was on the floor. Well, of course it was on the floor: he had thrown it there. Since this ... http://www.faultyvision.net/2009/08/16/stubby-arms/ My relevant updates are fairly uninteresting, so I comment only that I am headed to a wedding this weekend that has, let us say, its peculiar elements. There are times when one does not want to see behind the curtain of the show to see how the gnomes and the ... http://www.faultyvision.net/2009/08/14/eh-yo/ me: I AM SO TIRED. me: Hi. Angela: Hi. Angela: go to bed. me: I need to go to bed. Hobbes's been waking up at 5 AM lately. me: (I'm too tired to move.) Angela: can't you drug them? or is that "unethical" or "bad parenting" ? :) me: Hahaha. me: I drug him with milk. Angela: ah. me: I ... http://www.faultyvision.net/2009/08/12/too-tired-to-write/ "The thing with the Guy," I told Sako, "is that he's a failure as a romantic." "So's John," Sako said. "He tries, but every time he fails. Like the time he brought me flowers on the back of his motorcycle and all the heads got ripped off by the wind--" "John did that." "He ... http://www.faultyvision.net/2009/08/10/toaster-romance/